Someone once told me that it takes a certain type of person to write, but the more I think about this the less I believe it. Yes, it seems to take a literate person to write unless they're copying something and don't understand it, but that's not the point. To me anyone can write, some are just better at it than others. Just like some people have better resumes or better interview skills or are better at sports, some people are better writers. For me, it depends on my mood. Tonight (this morning?) I write in a slightly disappointed, pensive mood. I didn't get accepted into the WDW CRP thing I applied (and interviewed!) for, so I'm trying to figure out my future.

Next year was supposed to be my time to do that - look into some internships, meet new people, have a ton of fun, etc - so now I have to find a new way to do that. Should I travel? Ought I to stay where I am and just research the year away, trying to figure out what to do with my life? Should I go to grad school? And most of all, what do I want to spend the rest of my life doing?

This last question is a question I'm not sure we can ever truly answer, because not only does the world continue to change, but we are forever changing and evolving, so we're forever changing our minds and discerning a new path for ourselves. With this new path comes new options, and new doorways that we may never have thought existed. Example: two years ago I was on track to graduate this year with a BSc and then I was going to go on and get my BEd and teach. Since then, I've completely changed my major; I'm now getting a BA instead of my BSc, and I'm going to have a major in English instead of Biology (can't tell by the way I type, can you?). I'm also not going straight into a BEd program like I originally thought I would. Instead, I'm drifting. I don't know what I want to do, and with this program falling through, I kind of feel like I don't know where I want to go. Should I apply again, or should I just leave it? Oh well.

I'm sure I'll figure something out, but I really started this entry because I just needed to write. Like I said, everyone can write (given exceptions, as above). I write when I need to; sometimes it doesn't make sense, sometimes it's really depressing, sometimes it's overly happy. Tonight, I think I just need to write, to sort things out, and to put words to paper so that I can sort through my emotions. The emotions I'm feeling aren't new, they're just... Complicated. They're not the things I'm used to feeling well up, and they're not the type of thing that just goes away, they're the type of emotions you work through. Sure, I'm disappointed; I really did want to do this program, it sounded like so much fun, everyone at the interview was super nice, and I absolutely adore Disney. However, life moves on. I can't continue to live in the past because the past, present, and future all play into each other and if I get stuck in one the others become stuck as well, and the last thing I want is to be stuck in a negative frame of mind right now.

The question is, which direction should I go? "Is there anybody out there" that can help me? (Also, if I do go to Grad school, what should I do? What do you suggest I do without Grad school when I'm done my degree?)

Sleep tight lovelies, everything will look brighter in the morning :-)