Someone once told me that it takes a certain type of person to write, but the more I think about this the less I believe it. Yes, it seems to take a literate person to write unless they're copying something and don't understand it, but that's not the point. To me anyone can write, some are just better at it than others. Just like some people have better resumes or better interview skills or are better at sports, some people are better writers. For me, it depends on my mood. Tonight (this morning?) I write in a slightly disappointed, pensive mood. I didn't get accepted into the WDW CRP thing I applied (and interviewed!) for, so I'm trying to figure out my future.

Next year was supposed to be my time to do that - look into some internships, meet new people, have a ton of fun, etc - so now I have to find a new way to do that. Should I travel? Ought I to stay where I am and just research the year away, trying to figure out what to do with my life? Should I go to grad school? And most of all, what do I want to spend the rest of my life doing?

This last question is a question I'm not sure we can ever truly answer, because not only does the world continue to change, but we are forever changing and evolving, so we're forever changing our minds and discerning a new path for ourselves. With this new path comes new options, and new doorways that we may never have thought existed. Example: two years ago I was on track to graduate this year with a BSc and then I was going to go on and get my BEd and teach. Since then, I've completely changed my major; I'm now getting a BA instead of my BSc, and I'm going to have a major in English instead of Biology (can't tell by the way I type, can you?). I'm also not going straight into a BEd program like I originally thought I would. Instead, I'm drifting. I don't know what I want to do, and with this program falling through, I kind of feel like I don't know where I want to go. Should I apply again, or should I just leave it? Oh well.

I'm sure I'll figure something out, but I really started this entry because I just needed to write. Like I said, everyone can write (given exceptions, as above). I write when I need to; sometimes it doesn't make sense, sometimes it's really depressing, sometimes it's overly happy. Tonight, I think I just need to write, to sort things out, and to put words to paper so that I can sort through my emotions. The emotions I'm feeling aren't new, they're just... Complicated. They're not the things I'm used to feeling well up, and they're not the type of thing that just goes away, they're the type of emotions you work through. Sure, I'm disappointed; I really did want to do this program, it sounded like so much fun, everyone at the interview was super nice, and I absolutely adore Disney. However, life moves on. I can't continue to live in the past because the past, present, and future all play into each other and if I get stuck in one the others become stuck as well, and the last thing I want is to be stuck in a negative frame of mind right now.

The question is, which direction should I go? "Is there anybody out there" that can help me? (Also, if I do go to Grad school, what should I do? What do you suggest I do without Grad school when I'm done my degree?)

Sleep tight lovelies, everything will look brighter in the morning :-)

Disney and Dreams

Come on, you knew it had to be coming (especially if you actually know me!), and here it is. Today I want to talk about Disney. Not necessarily the man himself (although he and his family did amazing things), but my relationship with Disney (again, not the man!), and why it is as it is. For me Disney is a beacon of hope and dreams. They're about dreams and dreaming, and they are always making someone's dreams come true. Disney is the symbol of hope and cheer on a gloomy day, or the thing that can pull me out of a slump. I find myself dreaming about Disneyland and reliving the wonderful memories I've had there when the going gets tough, and this helps me to push forwards because I realize that though those memories are in the past, there is plenty of time left to find new sources of wonderful memories.

Disney also represents to me youth, childhood, and play. It doesn't matter how old you are, when you start talking about Disney memories of when you were younger come up (often in association with the movies), and as you get older you get more into the mechanics of Disney (or at least I did!) and how it all works. For example, I now know some facts about the actual location of the Haunted Mansion attraction at Disneyland that I wouldn't have dreamed of knowing when I was younger, but this has ruined nothing for me. Actually, it has made me admire even more the abilities of the Disney Corporation, and want to learn more. The diversity of jobs that Disney offers and the opportunities that they offer seem to have no limits; Disney owns multiple corporations (including ABC television - or they're highly affiliated, I'm not sure which is proper to say) and outlets, and as they evolve they seem to gather more ground. Not only do they have their parks, television channels, and merchandise (including movies, clothing, etc), but they are slowly adding to their web domains. For example (and this is where my Disney nerdiness comes out) I follow Disney on both Facebook and Twitter, and also read their blogs (of which there seems to be more than one). They have several different websites for different things, and because of their fan base even sites not affiliated with Disney contain tons of information about Disney. They've grown to be accessible almost anywhere, and they're still growing.

And all this came out because one man had a dream. I don't admire Disney because they've grown and taken over so many different mediums, but because of the dream aspect. I'm a dreamer, always have been, and because of this I feel like I can connect with Disney. My dreams are different (I'm not thinking up movie ideas and such), but they're there and they're magical. Disney is similar - it's there and it's magical, and "it all started with a Mouse".. Or an idea, which evolved.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Disney isn't just a company and mass producer, it's a way of viewing life. I realize we can't walk around with our heads in the clouds, but without a dream, where would we be? Personally, I'd be pushing groceries for the rest of my life, possibly miserable, and not nearly as happy as I currently am. There are three steps that I see in life, and these three steps are always evolving: Dream it, Believe it, Achieve it.

Start with a dream or a goal, believe in yourself and your abilities, and apply yourself. Then, with perseverance and hard work, you will be able to achieve your goals. Or if you don't, you'll be able to say that you tried your hardest. Remember though, we're not out of time until the end of our lives, and there is still always time to dream.