Nerves? Nerves.

So, I'm nervous. I don't know about you, but when I'm nervous I have a series of things I do.
First, I eat. Too much. I guess I over eat.
I also have a tendency to analyze whatever it is that's making me nervous, and every little detail about it. Really, this only serves to make me more nervous. I do it anyways.
After I eat too much, I don't eat. Like, I don't have much of an appetite for anything but junk food, which I therefore try to avoid (knowing it'll make me feel gross later if I eat too much, and also because really the last thing I need is to eat junk food).
I seek constant re-assurance. If you're one of the people I turn to, I'm sorry. I can't seem to help it, I get over stressed and nervous and need to be assured that I'm doing the right thing. I'm sorry.
I apologize. A lot.
I try to wear myself out by piling up work and exercise, which often creates more stress and nerves. You'd think that I would learn my lesson, hey?
I listen to music.
I attempt to doodle, although anyone that knows me knows I can't draw.
I sleep. Sometimes.
I stay up late doing basically nothing on the internet or watching movies from when I was a kid.
I read. Preferably not school material, but because of the time of year in which I usually become nervous or stressed, it's normally school material.
I write.
I type. Which is what I'm doing now...
Nerves and stress for me seem to go hand-in-hand, which I think is sort of normal. That twisting of your stomach, slightly uneasy, twitchy feeling where the tension you're holding in your back makes you want to cry? yeah, that. I get that when I get stressed and nervous. Oh well, c'est la vie, oui?
I'm heading off to be so that I can get up at 8, work for 5 hours, come home and make sure I've packed all I need, and head for a ferry. Ah. Nerves. G'night!

Imagination (also known as the reason I have trouble studying?)

My grandma always told me when I was little that "boredom is simply a lack of imagination" and being the little kid that I was, I never actually understood what she meant. I wasn't often bored as a kid because I had school and friends, books, dance, skating, my sister to deal with, and imaginary worlds to dream up and participate in both myself and with my friends. When I repeat this to myself as I get older, I for sure know what it means, and I can appreciate just how much I should take these words to heart. We should all take words like this to heart.

I'm not saying we should all go around thinking about unicorns, palaces, space fights and royalty like I used to, but we should use our imaginations in a multitude of ways. I like to think "Dream, believe, and achieve", and I feel like this fits in with imagination really well. If we all envisioned (or imagined) a peaceful world, higher efficiency transportation, environmentally stable and friendly products, etc. and found ways to realize these imaginings, wouldn't the world be in a better place? I'm not trying to take away from the importance of using imagination as a way of escaping problems and reality because I think this is one of the intended applications of imagination, but I'm trying to bring out some creativity; it's not always going to be someone out there telling us what to do, one day we're going to be in charge, and we'll have to have ideas.

It's imagination that we use to come up with stories and movies, and imagination that leads us to some of our goals. Sure, there's probably someone out there directing how we go or what we strive for, but ultimately it's up to us - We are the future, and we are the dreamers.

(My imagination is also most of the reason I have a hard time studying - like now. I can read something, start thinking about it, and - boom - my imagination takes hold and elaborates and all of a sudden I'm daydreaming. Like now. Ah, the heck with it, I'm going to get another cup of tea and try to concentrate on my Archaeology study stuff. Exam tomorrow!!)

I'll catcha lata!! :)

Disney and Dreams

Come on, you knew it had to be coming (especially if you actually know me!), and here it is. Today I want to talk about Disney. Not necessarily the man himself (although he and his family did amazing things), but my relationship with Disney (again, not the man!), and why it is as it is. For me Disney is a beacon of hope and dreams. They're about dreams and dreaming, and they are always making someone's dreams come true. Disney is the symbol of hope and cheer on a gloomy day, or the thing that can pull me out of a slump. I find myself dreaming about Disneyland and reliving the wonderful memories I've had there when the going gets tough, and this helps me to push forwards because I realize that though those memories are in the past, there is plenty of time left to find new sources of wonderful memories.

Disney also represents to me youth, childhood, and play. It doesn't matter how old you are, when you start talking about Disney memories of when you were younger come up (often in association with the movies), and as you get older you get more into the mechanics of Disney (or at least I did!) and how it all works. For example, I now know some facts about the actual location of the Haunted Mansion attraction at Disneyland that I wouldn't have dreamed of knowing when I was younger, but this has ruined nothing for me. Actually, it has made me admire even more the abilities of the Disney Corporation, and want to learn more. The diversity of jobs that Disney offers and the opportunities that they offer seem to have no limits; Disney owns multiple corporations (including ABC television - or they're highly affiliated, I'm not sure which is proper to say) and outlets, and as they evolve they seem to gather more ground. Not only do they have their parks, television channels, and merchandise (including movies, clothing, etc), but they are slowly adding to their web domains. For example (and this is where my Disney nerdiness comes out) I follow Disney on both Facebook and Twitter, and also read their blogs (of which there seems to be more than one). They have several different websites for different things, and because of their fan base even sites not affiliated with Disney contain tons of information about Disney. They've grown to be accessible almost anywhere, and they're still growing.

And all this came out because one man had a dream. I don't admire Disney because they've grown and taken over so many different mediums, but because of the dream aspect. I'm a dreamer, always have been, and because of this I feel like I can connect with Disney. My dreams are different (I'm not thinking up movie ideas and such), but they're there and they're magical. Disney is similar - it's there and it's magical, and "it all started with a Mouse".. Or an idea, which evolved.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Disney isn't just a company and mass producer, it's a way of viewing life. I realize we can't walk around with our heads in the clouds, but without a dream, where would we be? Personally, I'd be pushing groceries for the rest of my life, possibly miserable, and not nearly as happy as I currently am. There are three steps that I see in life, and these three steps are always evolving: Dream it, Believe it, Achieve it.

Start with a dream or a goal, believe in yourself and your abilities, and apply yourself. Then, with perseverance and hard work, you will be able to achieve your goals. Or if you don't, you'll be able to say that you tried your hardest. Remember though, we're not out of time until the end of our lives, and there is still always time to dream.